The Spirituality of Being in Relationship and Community

Resilience Task 7: Connect with your own spirituality

by Heather Koshiol

Several years ago I participated in a workshop where the facilitator started by asking us first to check in silently with ourselves, and then to open our hearts to the energy in the room. My own energy, I noticed, felt eager and curious; when I expanded my perception to the energy in the room, however, I was puzzled to notice a sense of pain. After a few minutes of silence had passed, the facilitator asked participants to share their observations. When a few people mentioned their present individual experiences of illness, injury, or estrangement from loved ones, I realized I had been perceiving others’ pain, and my eyes were opened to how full the world is of people actively hurting physically and emotionally. I hold this experience as a reminder to treat others with grace and gentleness, and to remember that the human experience is full of both joy and suffering, sometimes even both at once.

This awareness of our human interconnectivity is in itself spiritual. Our interconnectivity – and often our spiritual faith – call us to be in relationship with one another. One dictionary definition of spiritual is “related or joined in spirit.” Connecting with a trusted friend, spiritual director, coach, or counselor is to practice spirituality. My friend’s or coach’s reflections of my experience can help me see other perspectives and thereby expand my resilience. My relationships with other individuals can help me clarify my own identity, which, to me, is also spiritual in that I believe I was created to be the most true and authentic “me” I can be. This means understanding what makes me tick, knowing what brings me joy, and finding and practicing ways to develop those areas of myself more fully.

Currently, the community in which I find spiritual renewal is my extended family, in which we share joys and sorrows, and we support one another in both celebration and mourning. Last month, we laid my 97-year-old grandmother to rest; in the fall, we will celebrate a cousin’s wedding together. In between, we share our stories and time and love, and in doing so we experience healing and rejuvenation.

Being in relationship with others is just one way to connect with spirituality, experience renewal, and build resilience. What other spiritual practices might support you in developing perspective, sense of self, and resilience?

Watch next week’s article for insights from Kelly Jordan on how we can “Find balance to the imbalance of too many one-way caring relationships in one’s personal life.”