2025 Resolution Against Loneliness
In a recent group clergy conversation, a few people expressed their feelings of loneliness and isolation, having put their ministry before everything else in their lives. As such, I believe Surgeon General Vivek Murthy is right—that we desperately need to build a culture of connection in our country. My colleague Mark Sundby and I wrote about this in our book, A Path To Belonging: Overcoming Clergy Loneliness. But this can feel like just one more thing on the to-do list (or, heaven forbid, the yearly resolution list)!
I’m not at all promoting adding to a list. (In fact, I’m against new years’ resolutions altogether!) What I AM a proponent of is listening to your body, which includes paying attention to the emotions you’re experiencing, AND NOT IGNORING THEM. We have emotions for a reason—to tell us what we need in that moment.
Please, dear reader, next time your body tells you it’s time for connection, instead of pushing away the emotion, try one of these proven activities. They don’t take much time at all, and they are antidotes to loneliness and isolation:
Micro-moments. During the pandemic, my colleague Mark was amazing at instigating micro-moments. He’d pick up the phone and called for no reason. He’d say, “Hi! Do you have 5 minutes for a micro-moment?” And we’d do a brief check-in and then get on with our day. It felt good. At the end, I felt connected.
The 8-minute phone call. In the same vein, last year, the New York Times hosted a 7-day happiness challenge. Day 2 was the 8-minute phone call. It turns out, it doesn’t take much time at all to have an intentional, meaningful conversation: 8 minutes! Combine it with standing up from your desk and moving your body, and you’ve got a winner!
Remember that quality time with yourself is essential to resilience and wellbeing. Don’t discount it. If you don’t allow yourself at least an hour of time with yourself each week, you can hardly give it to others.
Take a short walk to make eye contact with others, and simply say hi. Getting fresh air and moving the body improves how we feel, and encountering other people along the way reminds us of our shared values
Dear Reader, I wonder …
What emotions are rising within you? What are they trying to tell you?
What small act would serve as an antidote to loneliness and help you feel more connected?
May this New Year offer you the connections you are seeking, and may we grow wiser together.
Once a month throughout 2025, our LeaderWise staff will focus on the epidemic of loneliness and ways to build a culture of connection in our lives.
