Resilience in Ministry: Putting on Your Oxygen Mask
Rev. Teri looked at their email inbox, grimaced, and thought, “Not another one.” Teri’s heart sank a bit. After visiting on Sunday, another individual contacted the church and asked for a pastoral visit, ending their email, “And my family is very interested in the possibility of joining your wonderful community!” Rev. Teri realized the irony of feeling a pit in their gut. When Teri had started ministry twelve years ago, Teri was energized about growing the church, but now Teri mostly just felt tired. The church of ninety-five members was understaffed, yet they asked Teri to cut back to three-quarters time to save money and make budget. Despite this cost-saving move, expectations remained high, hoping that Teri would work just as hard, continuing to offer book studies, attend meetings, create new programs, and actively reach out to the surrounding neighborhood. Mostly, though, Teri just felt tired.
Rev. Teri is not alone. At LeaderWise, we see over a thousand people in ministry each year. Teri’s story follows a familiar trajectory. When we meet with individuals as seminarians and candidates for ministry, there is a high level of idealism and optimism, as people feel deeply called to ministry and enthusiastically envision the possibilities. However, when we meet with them after several years of congregational ministry, many often feel tired, even a bit burnt out. Still, most haven’t given up. It’s upon that thread of hope and commitment, no matter how slim, that we begin to help clergy build their resilience.
An initial read of the statistics can be staggering. According to a national survey of clergy in one large denomination, 80% of clergy were at an unhealthy weight, 45% reported significant work stress on a regular basis, 28% experienced work impairment due to depressive symptoms, and 13% received ongoing treatment for clinical depression (Clergy Well-Being Survey Report, United Methodist Church, 2017). In a different survey, the number of clergy who scored as clinically depressed was twice the rate of the national average (New York Times, 2010).
And, yet, there is hope to build on. Ministry can be immensely rewarding in spite of the costs. One national survey found that 90% of clergy are satisfied with their calling to ministry (General Social Survey, 2006), and another found that 98% described their work as “meaningful,” which is the highest of all jobs and professions (PayScale, 2014).
Given that ministry comes with both great joy and cost, and it likely always will, how do we build resilience to maximize our joy as we live out our calling? At LeaderWise, we begin with the oxygen mask analogy. As flight attendants instruct us, you can only effectively help someone with their oxygen mask once yours is in place. Your effectiveness in ministry likewise extends only to the degree to which you remain physically, emotionally, and spiritually fit. We rarely see ministers washing out because of poor knowledge of theology. Much more common to our experience, clergy quit because they’ve seriously overextended themselves at the expense of personal health, and often at a cost to their family relationships and friendships, too.
LeaderWise recommends three steps to begin your journey to resilience.
Develop Self-Awareness. Like the proverbial frog that fails to recognize the heat being slowly turned up until the water is boiling and it’s too late to escape, we’ve seen clergy behave similarly with regard to their health. It too often becomes the norm to catch fast food before an evening meeting, to skimp on sleep to make breakfast appointments or place last-minute touches on a sermon, to forgo a day off or vacation, and to be at the beck and call of their congregation. The first step is to stop and take inventory of your habits, asking yourself, is this sustainable? Even better, check in frequently with loved ones about what they see and heed their insight and advice.
Identify Non-Negotiables. Each of us has certain activities that restore us. They differ by individual, and you’ll have to experiment to identify yours. A non-negotiable is a regular daily or weekly activity that significantly improves the quality of your life when it happens, and you feel its absence when it doesn’t. It’s non-negotiable because you’ll be unwilling to sacrifice this activity for an extended period of time or risk irritability, sadness, and, possibly burnout. It’s your oxygen mask. Typical non-negotiables for clergy include exercising, cooking, woodworking, reading, spending time with family, meeting with friends, etc. And, for many, non-negotiables include meditation, prayer, and reading for their well-being independent of sermon preparation.
Engage in Social Activities. A recurrent theme we hear from clergy and their spouses is how lonely they feel. We frequently have them complete a loneliness survey at clergy workshops, and, on average, they score significantly higher than the general population for loneliness. In a national survey, about 30% report feeling “isolated and lonely” as their typical state (Clergy Well-Being Survey Report, United Methodist Church, 2017). Research on the effects of loneliness links it to premature death, immediately behind cigarette smoking and untreated hypertension, and at a rate that is twice the risk of unhealthy weight (Cacioppo & Caccioppo, 2012). Conversely, a longitudinal study of men from the 1930s to the 2000s finds social connections to be the number one predictor of physical and emotional health (Vaillant, 2002). If you could do one thing to enhance your overall well-being, forging meaningful family relationships and friendships would be it.
Ministry is both highly rewarding and challenging, and it’s a privilege to be called and to serve. At LeaderWise, we specialize in providing psychological and consulting services to spiritual leaders, and we’d love to accompany you on this journey.
