Check In to Check Up, So You Don't Check Out
The Relationship Checkup, a New Offering
Relationships are what constitute humanity. I am only a mother because I have a child, I am only a wife because I have a spouse, and I am only a psychologist because I work with clients. Self-care is about tending to who we are according to the relational roles we hold – How am I doing as a mom, spouse, and professional? What do I need in order to help me uphold these relationships with integrity? Given the fundamental value of our connections to important others, it is no wonder that our mental and physical health are directly tied to our relational well-being, particularly our romantic relationships (Jaremka et al., 2013).
There have been many shifts in the terrain of romantic partnerships over the last 50 years: developments of dating technologies, the legalization of same-sex marriages, distant extended families, a tripled divorce rate for those 65 and over, and an increase in interracial companionships, interreligious marriages, romantic relationships involving remarriage, and cohabitation (Geiger & Livingston, 2018). Moreover, the demands of being a romantic partner, particularly a marital partner, have increased dramatically. As Finkel (2017) notes, “In contrast to our predecessors, who looked to our marriage to help us survive, we look to our marriage to meet our needs for passion and intimacy and to facilitate voyages of self-discovery and personal growth” (p. 13). Despite these love landscape alterations, what is not changing is the fact that coupling and all its associated processes, particularly child rearing, are fundamental public health issues.
As an organization committed to the holistic care of our clients, LeaderWise is pleased to be able to provide a new offering that promotes relational health. The Relationship Checkup is a two-session, assessment-based intervention aimed at increasing partnership satisfaction, intimacy, and healthy communication. Just as individuals are encouraged to visit their primary care providers for annual wellness exams, the Relationship Checkup functions in the same way for marriages and romantic relationships.
image by Kristina Litvjak on Unsplash
Couples can visit LeaderWise’s website to register to take the Relationship Checkup, an inventory that evaluates both the strengths and the concerns within one’s romantic partnership. After each individual completes the assessment, Ali Kenny, PsyD, LP, (this is me writing!) will schedule a virtual session to review testing data and create momentum in terms of utilizing a couple’s assets to address presenting issues. All dyads will receive a customized report of their inventory results and recommendations based on information gleaned from the first meeting. A secondary appointment can be arranged to further facilitate the improvement of relational habits and practices.
In closing, try out this simple exercise with someone you love. As relationship psychologists Julie and John Gottman say, healthy partnerships are built on doing small things often.
Skills and Sharing
(1) Identify your top three relationship-building skills.
(2) Partnered: Identify your significant other’s top three relationship-building skills.
OR
(2) Single: Identify a close friend’s top three relationship-building skills.
(3) Share skills from the second step of this activity with said partner or friend.
If you are so inclined, shoot me an email and tell me what unfolds!
References
Finkel, E.J. (2017). The all-or-nothing marriage: How the best marriages work. New York, NY: Dutton.
Geiger, A., & Livingston, G. (2018, February 13). 8 facts about love and marriage in America. Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/02/13/8-facts-about-love-and-marriage/.
Jaremka, L.M., Glaser, R., Malarkey, W.B., & Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K. (2013). Marital distress prospectively predicts poorer cellular immune function. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 38(11), 2713-2719.
