Wind for the Sails: Investing in Midlife
In my “household,” we are experiencing a wave of major birthdays. A great grandmother reaching 95. A grandmother celebrating 70. A spouse at 60. A sibling’s 40th. A child transitioning into adulthood, and another learning to drive.
Here I am in the middle of it all: 50. Well… just about. I’ve got a year to go. The ominous 49.
I hesitate to define “midlife” by a particular age or even an age range. Partly because it leads to a lot of angry comments on social media. I get it. At my annual physical in my 35th year, I was certainly not ready for my primary doctor to brightly welcome me to midlife. Nevertheless, I will concede that he was essentially right; the American Psychological Association states that midlife spans ages 36 through 64.
Midlife, they say, is less a crisis and more akin to a life stage, not unlike adolescence. It shows up differently for different people at different ages. Midlife may show up physically as headaches, elevated heart rate, chronic pain, reduced immune responses, even itchiness without diagnosis. Maybe your emotions are helter skelter: anxiety, hostility, panic attacks, numbness. It can show up as an intuitive knowing that something is off, a sense that you are adrift, or niggling thoughts and questions like:
How did I get here? I feel like I’m on the wrong path.
The things I’ve always done aren’t working anymore.
Am I only defined by my accomplishments? What if I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished very much?
It feels like the dreams I had for my life are no longer possible.
I wish I had a purpose or a passion.
I feel so empty, no matter how hard I work or how much I care for my family.
What now?
Sounds about as fun as adolescence, right? Talk about the Ides of March! Dante’s Divine Comedy called them hell gates. Do you have a voice inside telling you to just accept the bitter truth that life is just hard and then we die? Maybe these are some of the reasons why we choose to deny middle age, just keep on keepin’ on or blow up our lives. Thus, the myth of the midlife crisis.
I am lucky enough to have elders on the other side of middle age. They have modeled how middle age can be a time of great claiming: who we are, who we love, what we value, how we want to spend our lives, and celebrating it all. Midlife, they say, is the heart of the human story.
But it’s not automatic. It takes awareness, intention, practice and communities of compassion and accountability. That’s where LeaderWise comes in. To empower leaders “to lead with purpose, passion and integrity,” we are committed to helping you claim your life.
No matter what number you turn on your next birthday, if you find yourself asking, “What now?” I invite you to join me for a new LeaderWise workshop: Midlife: The Heart of Your Story.
Midlife: The Heart of Your Story
A 3-hour workshop discerning What Now?
Thursday, April 11, 2024
11 am - 2 pm PT / 12 - 3 pm MT / 1 - 4 pm CT / 2 - 5 pm ET
For a limited time, LeaderWise is offering this workshop for FREE ($100 value). You are welcome to support LeaderWise with a contribution as you can. Register here.
Spoiler alert! We’re working on more programming geared for Midlifers. And we’d love to hear more about your needs/wants through this brief 2-minute survey (you do not need to fill out the survey in order to participate in the workshop).
