When Every Day Feels Like the Ides of March

“Beware the Ides of March!” According to Shakespeare, when Julius Caesar hears this, he pauses and asks his handlers, “What was that?” They reassure him, “It’s only a soothsayer,” implying that the warning should not be taken seriously. In a short while, though, Caesar is dead, assassinated by about sixty Roman senators.

Growing up, my family and friends teased each other whenever March 15 came around. “Beware the Ides of March” felt like Friday the 13th, with a bit of superstition thrown into the day. Harmless fun with a pinch of suspense that an otherwise mundane day might carry a surprise to break up its ordinariness.

This year, however, might be different. Based on an unscientific sample, which is my caseload of about 25 therapy clients, I sense that many people crave ordinariness. Every day feels like the Ides of March, and instead of easily dismissing the warning, it has become a harbinger of existential dread and anxiety. Last week alone, which was the week ending with Friday, March 15, over a third of my clients mentioned “world events”—including climate change, political unrest, and war—in their therapy sessions as a source of present and persistent anxiety. Many reported that they regularly wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble falling back asleep. Older adults with grandchildren worry about their future; younger adults wonder if they should have children. Psychologists have informally come up with terms to try and capture this phenomenon, such as “eco-anxiety,” “ontological insecurity,” and, simply, “dread.”

Research into dread reveals real-world implications for our psychological well-being. One study found that we would rather experience a more painful event now than wait for a less painful experience in the future just to get it over with. As a summary of the research stated, “Most people chose to hasten the experience of pain, and would even accept more severe pain to avoid having to wait for it, a smaller proportion preferred to put it off into the future.” The summary added, “The anticipation of pain is a major source of misery” (Cognitive Dread: People Would Rather Get An Electric Shock Than Think About Going To The Dentist, Scientific Blogging 2.0, 2013). Other research using fMRI brain scans confirmed these findings and discovered that the neural networks activated by the anticipation of pain were the same as those for actual pain, suggesting a neurobiological component (Neurobiological Substrates of Dread, Science, 2006). Many of us suffer because of our dread, and we would readily choose more intense pain at the moment to avoid the extended misery of waiting for an uncertain future. But there is no hastening climate change, the American election, and other world events. We can only wait for events out of our control to unfold, which, as I’ve witnessed in my clients, only compounds the dread.

Photo by Nick Owuor (astro.nic.portraits) on Unsplash

You are not alone if every day feels like the Ides of March. Here are four suggestions based on our work at LeaderWise that appear to have helped many people:

1. Acknowledge your dread. If we try to distract ourselves and suppress a feeling, it often comes back tenfold. For instance, if I tell you, “Don’t think about polka-dot elephants,” what happens? You’re likely picturing a polka-dot elephant right now. Similarly, if we try to pretend we’re not feeling dread, it can make it more intense. Better to name it, create space for it, and address it proactively.

2. Turn off the news. Resist the urge to doomscroll throughout the day. Little is likely to change with the major existential issues of our day between now and bedtime, and if it does, there’s probably little you can do about it anyway. Look around and notice the many blessings right before you—the people you love, the natural beauty surrounding you, the nourishing food that sustains you. It’s all there if we pause and notice.

3. Seek social support. It’s healing to know that others are having a similar experience. By sharing our feelings of dread, we can move from isolation and dread to connection and even hope. Talking with a therapist or spiritual director can often provide additional insight and relief for those who need extra support.

4. Take action. Dread paralyzes us. Even the smallest actions can help restore a sense of control. On our LeaderWise staff, for instance, one consultant found himself deeply concerned about political polarization. As a result, he read extensively, pulled together a team of colleagues to create a presentation, submitted a proposal to an international conference, and delivered a workshop on concrete steps people can take in their everyday lives to help bridge differences. The presentation, and his piece in particular, was met with heartfelt applause and expressions of gratitude. His passion and commitment were contagious to all present—and it helped alleviate his dread to see that others care, too.

Beware the Ides of March! Julius Caesar failed to heed the warning, and he paid the price. Rather than ignoring it, we can respond differently—to acknowledge the existential threat and our consequent dread, address our fears proactively, and support one another through whatever the future may hold.