Feeling Frustrated?
by Rev. Cindy Halvorson, MDiv, DMin
This fall has been busy for our team at LeaderWise. There have been numerous meetings – some in-person, some via zoom. We have met with clergy groups from various denominations and differing regional areas within our country. Those attending the training sessions and presentations were professional ministry leaders, multiple denominational representatives, as well as congregation members. Dynamic weeks like the ones we are experiencing fascinate us. The variety of the work and the experiences people bring to our gatherings energize us as we step into these connections with curiosity. There are some similarities, yet a great deal of uniqueness. So, it was intriguing when we heard a sentiment appear over and over. “I’m not going to stay quiet any longer.”
At LeaderWise, we pay attention to patterns we observe and we wonder about them. For us to consider it a “pattern,” we must see it a few different times and in different settings with different people. While our team may not know the reason for the pattern, we still take note of the repetitive behavior.
Recently we have witnessed ministry professionals expressing frustration. A sense of having been “pushed too far” seems to reverberate in their comments. An urge to speak from that aggravated space within their mind and heart is showing up concerning many “issues.” The exasperated voice is not isolated to hot-button topics. While there are certainly agitated comments on these subjects, my colleagues and I are hearing frustration on a variety of “issues.” The topics often have multiple facets to them, and irritation is voiced from seemingly opposing perspectives.
We know that many in caring professions are exhausted. We wonder:
Have those in ministry reached their capacity?
Has the attempt to care for “everyone” while holding all-the-things in a non-anxious way finally dwindled to a dangerously low level?
Is the voiced frustration a sign of the emotional toll of existing in our often-polarized society?
Where else is this frustrated voice showing up in people’s lives … and what are the ramifications?
This is the point where I want to use reassuring words and encourage each of you as you press on, doing the good work of your calling. AND, it seems that a prophetic word is also needed. When I anticipate the future, especially the next 18 months knowing that the U.S. is entering a presidential election cycle, I doubt that the frustration and polarization will lessen. I suspect the opposite will be true.
Knowing this, however, puts us in a space to be intentional on choosing how we want to speak and behave. (If you are interested in learning more on this topic, consider participating in the upcoming workshop, Navigating Turbulent Times with Emotional Intelligence.) We never want to needlessly cause pain or harm to others, especially not to people we love, which for some reason can often be the place frustrations are handled in a sideways manner. It is imperative that we intentionally pursue our overall well-being. Some possible ideas to consider might include:
Insisting on the time necessary to be grounded.
Actively nourishing your soul.
Processing your frustration with a trusted person.
Our team is early in our observations, and we want to hear from you. What are you experiencing? Where do you land on the continuum between energetic and exhausted? Are you feeling depleted? If so, in what area/areas of your life? Please, send me an email: cindy@leaderwise.org.
Dear ones, we truly care about you and want to offer support where we can. You don’t need to journey alone through these challenging times. I don’t want this to sound like a commercial … and yet, LeaderWise exists to walk with people who give their lives to service. If you could benefit from coaching, spiritual direction, reflective supervision, therapy, or various workshops (see our Course Catalog here), please let us know.
And in the meantime ...
May all our wonderings and wanderings lead us home.
